On Nov 12, 8:45 am, "John Smith" <some...@microsoft.com> wrote:
> My mother-in-law can no longer live on her own (forgetful regarding
> meds, proper eating, but still mentally alert).
Then she legally is still responsible for her own financial decisions. You can present her with options or suggestions or requests, but it is up to her to authorize them (or not).
> We have taken her in to our home.
Did you, wife and MIL put anything in writing as to the terms of this accommodation? Many people don't, being family, but if one doesn't, then there is no basis to consider your act as anything other than family generosity. IOW, it does _not_ entitle you to take money from MIL's account to help defray her support unless she consciously and specifically agrees to let you do that.
> We just closed on the sale of her house (she signed POA for my wife
> with the realtor), and we have a check for $74,000.
The POA let your wife act on her mom's behalf, as if she were standing in mom's shoes, as it were, simply as an agent of her mother. The POA does not in and of itself authorize your wife to use any of that money for wife's or your own account.
> My M.I.L. has agreed to pay for improvements to our house.
Is that agreement in writing? Hopefully. Otherwise, it's very easy for the parties to have very different ideas about what was agreed to.
> How should we handle the money?
That depends. What does your agreement with MIL provide? The specific terms of your contract with her are far more important, at the outset, than any general "default" provisions the law may provide in the absence of a clear agreement to the contrary.
> Ideally, we would like access to the money as improvements are made,
What does your agreement with MIL provide?
> and also plan for her future
What did MIL decide in that regard? Did you take her to a financial estate planner or elder care lawyer to help figure this out for her? Strongly recommended. Otherhwise, if the care of MIL becomes too hard for you to handle at home and you and wife need to suggest a nursing home, she may not be able to claim federal benefits to help pay for it until she had drawn down her assets almost completely, and so your MIL may wind up in a situation where she has no estate left to pass on to her heirs (which I presume include you and MIL). If you don't do this right it could cost you all dearly. Your MIL's elder care lawyer can also help her pull together and clarify her wishes and preferences in terms of end-of-life medical care, with a Living Will, medical power of attorney, advance directives and so forth, to avoid forcing you and wife to face anguished care decisions in the event of MIL's eventual incapacitation. Since it doesn't sound like MIL's condition is likely getting better anytime soon, this is an appointment you should not put off for too long. Good luck,
--
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Mike Jacobs
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